9th
12 % fiber doesn’t include hormones, sweetie.
The other day at Whole Foods, I bought a box of “Gnu” bars. I had eaten them once at my friends house, and I loved them in a health-bar way. When I saw them at the store of course I bought them, in Banana Walnut flavor.
Cut to Math Class:
I proudly display my box of deliciousness to my friend who is 3 seats away.
“Oh yeah!” She nods. “I love those…..They keep you regular!”
Cue my horrified face.
“What?”
My friend J pipes in- “My mom eats those all the time, they keep her ‘skinny.’”
I had no idea I had purchased something associated with…well…you know.
“It says “For Regularity” right on the box, dumbshit.”
Three girls in the row next to us are intrigued.
“Wait oh my god thats soooo funny!” One of them interrupts. They all have faces of wonder. “Does it really say that? Can I see the box?”
I show them, trying to laugh off my mortification.
“Oh my god yeah, it says it right there!”
“I know…” I say with a chuckle. “I’m so dumb!”
“So wait, what happens if boys eat it?” one asks.
J and I look at eachother.
“Uh….They….poop nicely?” J offers.
All three girl’s eyes light up, and a collective “OOOOHH” is uttered.
“I totally thought regular was for like your period!”
J and I meet eyes, appalled.
Then one of them offers a moment of insight: “Wow…we’re the dumbasses!” She exclaims. Everyone laughs as a moment of stupidity is outdone by a far superior moment of stupidity. Gotta love my luck.
